Truth or Consequences on Pornography

I once struggled with viewing pornography. For some, reading that statement might change their opinions of me. For others, reading that statement doesn’t come as much of a shock as much of our male culture has this same struggle. And for others, they already know how my life has changed since I took on this problem head on.

There are two things I want to put out here for anyone who has the same struggle or a struggle with another drug-like addiction. I say drug-like addiction because I used this addiction just like someone uses a drug, alcohol or some other disorder like excessive eating. While the symptoms might look very different, fundamentally they are all the same.

The first point is, no matter what you use to soothe your hurt and how helpless you feel against it, God looks at them the same and gives us all a very comforting Word: "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."
1 Corinthians 10:13 (NIV)

Wow that sounds great but how do I see that work in my life? One thing we know is that when we are tempted (and I know this from experience), there is a fine line between moving on from the thought and giving into the temptation. Some in the psychiatry profession will say that fine line is less than 10 seconds. So here is the “way” I used to get past those 10 seconds. I would simply say (out loud most of the time), “God, I don’t want to give into this temptation and I ask you to take it from my mind.” Just in case you are curious, if you say that sentence twice without rushing through it, it takes about 10 seconds. Sometimes, I had to say it several times, but it never and I mean never failed to work. God tells us He is the way. I have no doubt about that.

The second point is, you should think about why you don’t do certain things that you know will cause you harm. The example I use repeatedly is how none of us will knowingly put our hands on a red hot stove. This is an easy one. I know exactly the outcome if I do this. I will get burned, feel immediate pain and see the results of my mistake for quite some time. It is possible that the scars that are left may never disappear. Now take that example and understand why it was so easy (relatively speaking) to give up pornography. I finally made the connection between my actions and the outcomes.

Small doses of radiation will definitely kill us over time. We know that and none of us would put ourselves in a place where we would be exposed. We also know that large amounts of radiation would kill us very quickly. But if you don’t know the radiation is present then you will just walk into it, be exposed and suffer the consequences. Pornography for me was taken in small doses over a long period of time without anything to offset its affects. For me, it was a killer. It destroyed my ability to connect to my significant other, distorted the way God wired me to choose my mate and ultimately affected my intimacy with my wife. Like radiation, pornography affects most of us the same way. People aren’t immune to radiation and it is guaranteed that small doses will kill us. So it is with sin of any kind. God promises us that all sin leads to death. There is no doubt about spiritual death and not much doubt about how some sins will kill us physically. So why do we keep doing it?

Back to the example of the hot stove. For those of us who are married, we have become one with our spouses. The bible talks about how our flesh is our spouses in both directions. So is it possible that I put my hand on the hot stove of pornography and feel no pain, but my wife’s hand is burned beyond recognition? Absolutely! I have heard many women talk about the scars they have from their husband’s porn habit. My wife still shows some of the scars of my habit and it has been almost five years since I last viewed it.

I have no doubt it hurts her greatly and our relationship is scarred by pornography. Knowing that, it is an easy decision. And your marriage is no different. Now that you know that, what is your decision?